The Path to Stardom

So you’ve decided to become a star, instead of of a blob. Fantastic! But what exactly is “stardom” and how in fact do you get there?

Patience young Padawan, all shall be revealed.

As a refresher, the premise is this…

If you want to feel energized by your work
If you want to feel fulfilled
If you want to feel confident
If you want to stand out amongst the competition
If you want that promotion
If you want to be recognized for your contributions
If you want to be seen as a leader

…you need to stop working on your weaknesses and start focusing your strengths.

As a reminder, strengths are cognitive and relational activities that you are naturally good at, talents that when exercised and practiced, can become definitive traits, which help you stand out and establish yourself as leader, an expert, or an authority.

“But how do I know what my strengths are?” you ask.

I’m getting to that. Hold your horses.

The strengths tool that I am most familiar with is CliftonStrengths by Gallup (formerly, Strengths Finder)*. I am in no way affiliated with Gallup, but I use their tool because it’s accessible and easy to implement. I don’t have to remember what “INFJ” stands for, or explain the differences between a "4 wing 3" and a "4 wing 5." CliftonStrengths uses words like Relator, Achiever, Communication, and Adaptability. I find that my clients have a sense of what those things might look like in their lives, and can easily generate examples of those strengths in action and activities that would exercise their strengths. The CliftonStrengths Assessment takes about 30-60 minutes to complete, and costs $20 (but if you take my Wandering and Wayfinding course, the CliftonStrengths Assessment is included in the course tuition AND you get an hour of strengths coaching with a certified coach!).

But you actually don’t need an assessment in order to unearth your strengths. You have all the data you need, in the form of life experiences, for evidence of your strengths in action. Here are three surefire signs of a strength in action (as described by Donald Clifton and Paula Nelson in their book Soar With Your Strengths), with examples from my own Strengths Star: 

1. Listen to your yearnings. Pay attention to the kinds of activities that “pull you in” or the tasks that you are most attracted to.
   Example—I have a yearning to lead all the meetings. When I am in a meeting that is being run badly, I itch to take it over. I’m good at running meetings, because meeting agendas are a series of tasks that need to get done (decisions that need to be made, discussions that need to be had, problems that need to be solved) so that the organization (or the team, or the committee) can continue to move forward. Meetings are essentially strategy sessions, and four of my five tops strengths are in the strategic thinking domain.  Strategic thinking is a natural ability that I have improved over time through study and practice. I yearn for activities and roles that allow me to use my strategic abilities.
2. Tune in to the feeling of satisfaction. What activities or tasks yield emotional and psychic rewards (like a feeling of satisfaction, fulfillment, or confidence), even if they are challenging or require effort?
   Example--When I was a theatre director I loved the process of casting the show, even when the task would keep me up at night agonizing over the decisions I needed to make. I loved thinking about all the unique traits the actors inherently brought to the table, and how I could capitalize on those things in the production. I also loved thinking about the relational chemistry between the characters and how the actors might work off of each other to achieve a believable relationship. I don’t cast show’s very often these days, but I do pair up mentors and mentees in a couple of different support programs that I over see, and I get the same kind of satisfaction out of this task. In Gallup speak, this is because Individualization is also in my Strengths Star. I’m good at seeing what makes people unique and finding ways for those uniquenesses to shine, and I feel immense satisfaction when I get the casting just right, and other people are able to thrive because they are in roles they are well suited for.  
3. Watch for rapid learning. What kinds of skills were you able to learn quickly? Did you ever have a feeling like “I’ve always known how to do this”? If something comes easily, if you catch on quickly, it is likely a strength.
   Example--I love learning (Learner is another point in my strengths star), but I’m not a rapid learner all the time. A couple of years ago I was determined to learn enough statistics to converse with my peers about their research and the data their work surfaced. I was deeply interested and fascinated (because I’m a Learner), but the learning was not rapid, I really had to work for every little intellectual gain. Analytical thinking (the kind needed for mastering statistics) is not in my strengths star. I can use my Learner strength to generate interest and build ability, but trying to reach mastery with statistics would ultimately be a path to blob-hood rather than a path to stardom. In contrast, the training program that I went through to become a coach was surprisingly easy for me. All throughout, I kept thinking, “I’ve been doing this my whole life, I just didn’t know the name for it.” Coaching actually utilizes all five of the strengths in my Strengths Star—Learner, Input, Intellection, Individualization, and Strategic—so it’s no wonder that coaching skills came easily and quickly for me. Super rapid learning = Strengths Star in action!

To summarize, the first step in the path to stardom is figuring out what your innate strengths are. To do that, you don’t need the fancy assessment (although it certainly doesn’t hurt!); you simply need to pay attention to your yearnings, the experience of satisfaction, and anything that represents rapid learning. Make a list of experiences that have one or more of these three qualities, and you will be sitting on a pile of data about the things that you are naturally good at. And you will be one step closer to stardom.

*Ultimately, the tool doesn’t matter as much as the fact that you are putting language to your unique set of innate abilities. A client of mine loves the Deloite Business Chemistry tool, so we worked with the language of that tool to talk about her strengths. Another client of mine created her own phrase for what she sees as one of her core contributions to her team at work—“job joyfulness” which she describes as her ability at work to “counteract the well poisoners”. In Strengths Finder terms we would call that “Positivity”, but I didn’t even mention that word to her because her term was ultimately more meaningful, more tangible to her.  You will likely hear me say this over and over again on this blog—language matters. Articulation is part and parcel with growth. Naming is an act of empowerment. The more complex your language is, the more complex your thoughts will be. As a coach, my job to listen carefully to the language you use, to literally “take you at your word” and “take your word for it.” So whether we are talking about strengths, or values, or feelings, or dreams...your words are your truth, and my goal is to help you understand, with as much specificity as possible, your truth.